It was something I think that Alder was expecting, but then he did know much more about what was happening than I did, partly because I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to think about it. Now I have no choice and I keep wondering what life is going to be like now. Alder is our family elder. He’s three years older than me and he’s our elder. Every time I think about it, about the position Alder has found himself in, I can’t believe that the elders who survived really were stupid enough to think that they could do nothing about the problems we were having. If they hadn’t buried their heads in the sand we could have travelled to Earth without having to have said goodbye to so many family members.
The strange thing is that I never really knew my grandfather. I knew he was alive, until the loss of magic on Kalinia killed him, but Father never took me to meet him. He never told me any stories about the life he’d lived. Father didn’t much like his own father, or mother for that matter, although he never told me why. Maybe he told Alder and I can ask my brother about the family I never met. That’s going to have to wait until Alder isn’t busy though. There’s so much more that he needs to do, so I can’t add to his problems with all these things that I’m thinking about now that my world has changed so very much.
Father had a copy of our family tree and I think that Alder brought it with him. If I start there I might be able to learn about where I came from without him. As I think of this, of learning about my family, I have this feeling that in order to learn about my own family I need to help Princess Willow to learn about hers. She is the youngest daughter, the same as me, and I don’t doubt that she knows as little about her family as I know about mine. We never needed to know, because of our position. I never needed to know anything, according to Father, so all I had was Alder teaching me about the things I needed to know.
Alder was a good teacher. He was always patient with me, even when I couldn’t answer his questions. One of his main questions was always about my feelings, although he called them premonitions, and they were the hardest questions for me to answer. They still are. I want to understand where my ability came from, why I have even the vague premonitions that I have, because I know it’s not something that any of my siblings had, and I can only guess it all comes from Mum’s side. Both my parents left me, Father emotionally and Mum physically, and I hate them both for it. Sometimes I wish I could feel something more for them, some love, but they never gave me a reason to love them. It’s sad, really.
Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.